What Used to Be
by Psychadelic-Jojex
Summary: "I thought I would die alone and found myself mentally preparing for it, but then I met you." GlennXOC
1. Prologue

_**Keep in mind! I'm not a native english speaker so I might get some words wrong, hopefully not too much though.**_

_Water, food, more food, food, more water, even more food..._

The gray backpack had already begun to fill up nicely but could still fit more, so the young survivor continued to grab everything useful within her reach in the grocery store.

_Enough._

She threw the bag onto her back and grabbed the baseball bat leaning against the glass door, the only way out of the small store.

Two quick glances outside through the somewhat tainted glass.

_One, two, no three monsters..._

Two deep breaths, then small yet fast steps up to the white volvo standing less than 5 meters away. Look from side to side, then sneak over to the red saab 9 steps to the right.

She looked up, careful not to be seen, the closest one dead creature about 2 meter from her. The only thing to do was to wait, which seemed to be 60% of what you had to do nowadays.

What seemed like an eternity passed. Then taking a steady hold of the bat she made her way to the next car, between every move taking small and fast breaths.

Trying her best to keep her calm.

_Two more cars..._

She drew her left hand through her shoulder length straight dirty blonde hair. Another deep breath then made her way to the next car.

_One more, just one._

This time she managed to make her way to the next destination with a bit more confidence, the walker closest to her weren't even that close. As long as she kept quiet, she knew they would not spot her.

Now the only thing standing between her and safety was a fence, something she had mixed emotions about.

It was a pain to climb over, yes, but if she got noticed, it kept the walkers from this side to make their way over to the side her home was located at.

She looked to her left, then to her right, it should be safe for now, the monsters weren't close enough to catch up to her at least.

_Okay, I will..._

Suddenly a loud beeping noise could be heard, she did not know from where, but was certain it was a car alarm.

It was not from her position, but soon the streets would be swarming with those things, no time to hesitate anymore.

_Run!_

She made a run for the fence, her bat in her right hand and bag on her back, not unnoticed by the three walking dead who slowly began to grow in numbers.

The bat got thrown over first with the girl climbing with all her might, landing with a thud on the ground.

A quick glance back was all the time she spent. She picked up the bat, her only weapon in case it got too bad and started to make her way out of the alley the fence had led her into.

Round the corner and _**THUD**_.

_A monster?!_

She looked up, trying to reach her bat but by surprise, this so called 'walker' seemed pretty... alive. As in living.

The young man looked at her, as startled and surprised as she.

Though the meeting only lasted for a few seconds before the reality woke them up from their stares, walkers made their way towards the two survivors and the fence already crowded with rotting hands trying to reach them from the back.

_Shit, shit, shit!_

They gave eachother another glance, as to trying to make out a decision. The girl then gave a small tug in his arm before starting to run to the other side of the street, with the boy not far behind.

With the larm still ringing in the air the dead continued to flow in on the street, using both hands and teeth to try and stop the, what in their eyes was, prey.

The girl made a swing with her bat, succeeding to knock the closest one over. From what she could hear, the boy seemed to manage himself fine as well.

Finally they reached a door who the girl threw opened and closed as fast as she could the second her guest had made it inside, which was simply seconds after her.

"Hold it!"

They boy did as he was told and held the door with all his strength while the walkers used theirs to open it.

The girl then pulled out a key, put it into the keyhole and turned.

They both breathed heavily after the adrenalinrush. The boy sat down on the third step of the staircase, taking of his cap and ran his arm over his forehead.

The girl gave a quick look at him once again and realized what had happened. She had brought another person into her sanctuary, this apartment building.

He didn't have the key to this place, yet if he decided not to leave and take the key from her she would be screwed.

From her window on the fifth floor, she could see them all.

Walkers killing and eating people, and people killing other people for their supplies.

One of them even got her once, she managed to escape with her life, but she didn't dare to leave her place for a week, with barely any food.

The stranger must have caught her bothered expression because he soon said, "They will probably give up soon..." in a pretty unsure tone.

_Fantastic..._

The girl scanned him. His backpack...

_He has supplies... that must be what he has in that bag. If I take him by surprise I could..._

His weapon...

_A metal pipe... well I guess that is a pretty good weapon in these kind of dark times._

His appearence...

_He looks like a kid.. is he alone in all this? Then he might be desperate and attack... or he might be like me? Normal. Or is it too much to hope for?_

"What were you doing out there?" she asked, though already knowing the answer thanks to the backpack.

But what was he collecting? Maybe it wasn't food. Maybe weapons or medicine.

Hopefully it wasn't weapon since if it was, she would be in a very bad situation, never mind about the walkers surrounding the buildning.

"Supplies, what else?"

She nodded.

"You too, right?"

She gave him a questioning look until he pointed at her backpack who she still hadn't bothered taking off.

"Yeah."

The asian boy stood up from the stairs after a few, what seemed like, minutes of catching his breath and looked over at the blonde who had sat herself 5 steps higher up, still firmly holding onto her bat.

"You live here?"

"For the moment." she looked at the door which still held its ground against the walkers, "They won't leave unless we do."

She raised herself from the cold staircase steps and begun walking upwards with the other survivor barely two meters from her, making her feel slightly uneasy and causing her to tighten her hold around the only weapon on her.

_He doesn't seem nervous at all. Will he attack? Should I leave him here on the staircase? Should I have left him out there... _

She gave him another small glance which he returned.

_Probably not._

They reached the fifth floor where she simply opened the door, clearly hesitated if it would be wise to let the stranger inside the only place she felt somewhat safe in.

He waited for her to make her move.

_Does he know?_

In the end, she simply walked into the small apartment room, not closing the door.

The boy clearly got a little hesitant now, but decided to roll with it.

She sat down on her bed while her 'guest' simply stood leaning against the wall after he had closed the door behind him.

A silence filled the room until, like downstairs, the stranger decided to break it, "You live here alone?"

The second the sentence had escaped his mouth and he must have realized how he sounded in the already nervous and paranoid blonde's ears.

Before he got the chance to open his mouth again the girl answered, "Yes." as she continued to look down at her hands. Trying to figure out what this guys motive would be.

Leading him here... she didn't mean to. It was by impulse.

Yet, the company somehow felt nice. The last time she actually spoke to someone was the person who decided to steal her supplies. Not exactly a cherished memory.

"Where are you from?"

The eternity she had lived here, having a perfect sight over the streets form the apartment windows she had never really seen him, at least she was somewhat sure of it. It's not like you have a perfect sight of faces from heights.

"I live with a group outside of Atlanta. I only come here to gather supplies."

"Alone?"

"Yeah, I like it better that way." he answered with a small smile.

"I see..." she answered.

_Is this guy for real? If I had any allies here I would want at least one of them with me at all times..._

"Wanna come?"

Her head threw up from looking at her fingers picking small loose shivers from the bat in her hands.

"You can join our group." he continued as he didn't get an answer.

"Why?"

"Cause... why not?"

"No, why are you asking me? Wouldn't that just be another mouth to feed? There has to be a catch.. unless you're just pulling a mean prank on me."

The boy looked at her with slight confusion in his eyes, such a paranoid person, although he couldn't really blame her. He had already seen how many people had become from all this.

"No joke and no catch. Everyone in our group participates with something so it's a fair."

"Participates?" she raised an eyebrow.

"You know, some do the hunting, some guards the camp and stuff like that."

"And you are the one collecting supplies I take it?"

He nodded.

_Is this for real...? This guy seems nice enough I guess but..._

"What could I do then...? I'm not really good at anything.."

"Geez, don't be too cocky." he said with sarcasm in his voice, making the girls lips twitch a little, barely forming a smile.

Her close friend used to talk in sarcasm to her all the time whenever she said something negative. It was pretty annoying back then but now it actually nice to hear it.

"Don't worry about it." she looked up at him once again, "There will be something for you to do. So what do you say?"

A silence once again filled the room until it finally got broken by a quiet, yet excited, "Yes..." then a louder. "Yes!"

She stood up from the bed and the excitement slowly started showing in her gray eyes as she looked around in the apartment that she would soon be leaving behind.

The way she suddenly let go of her serious and nervous mood went from surprising to amusing to the other survivor.

Her excitement continued for another few seconds until she suddenly stopped and looked down at the floor once again, "But... what if the group doesn't like me? What if they turn me away? You don't decide who to let in all by yourself, do you?"

He gave her a kind smile, "Nah. They aren't like that."

_I'll believe that when I see it..._

He stretched his hand forward, "I'm Glenn by the way. Thanks for the help earlier."

_Help? Oh right before.. with the walkers._

She took his hand, "Zoey. And you're welcome."


	2. The Group and the Stranger

**Hello and welcome to my little Walking Dead fanfic! As you probably read in the first chapter I'm not an english native speaker so I might get some words wrong, but I'll do my best!**

**Please review since I'm very interested in what you think! **

**I hope you'll enjoy!**

I don't know for certain how long ago it's been since I left the apartment, left that hell hole of a city. Over a month, less than a year is all I'll say.

It's still the same horrible time, dead people are still walk. Finding an alive person have become a game of finding a needle in a haystack, and whenever you actually find one they raise their gun, their crossbow, knife or some other crap you really don't want in your face.

Although in another way it's still different from before. I'm not alone anymore, got people to talk to and who I know will watch my back. Some people I would never have met if hell hadn't gotten released.

I guess some would call it both a blessing and a curse. Curse is still somewhat closer though in the eyes of the many. You can meet new people whenever you want after all, yet you can only live once.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful though. Believe me, meeting Glenn that time in Atlanta is probably the best thing since the world ended.

To think I didn't even feel up to another scavenger hunt that time, planned to stay inside. In the end it was all about time and place, which I managed to nail, thank god for that.

Although being in a group does have one very bad part, your constant worrying.

People who go and check out the surroundings of the camp, gathering supplies in Atlanta, hunting, it all involves big possibilities of meeting walkers, those freaks.

I, together with most of the other ladies and some men are pretty much always in the camp. Doing typical so-called women duties. Washing clothes for the most part, or simply putting stuff away and sometimes get the dinner ready.

I have yet to actually be sent to get sent into the woods surrounding the camp, and Glenn is the one taking care of Atlanta, on his own.

Well... aside from today.

Shane, the leader of the group I guess you could say, together with Glenn decided to try and see if sending out more people in the city improves the supply scavenging.

So he together with Andrea, Merle, Morales, Jacqui and T-Dog is right now located in a city full of walking dead.

And me? I'm sitting on a beach chair, in the sun, in the camp, waiting for their return, with a book.

... That's right.

"_The white necked raven, also known as corvus albicollis, is somewhat smaller than its relative, the common raven. It is mostly seen in southern Africa and lives of both food obtained from the ground and sometimes in trees."_

...

I slammed the book shut and looked out at the distance with a blank face. A few seconds passed until I finally decided to share my thoughts with my friend sitting next to me.

"This book sucks."

"It's about birds, what did you think?" Amy answered while she continued to browse through her own book, what it was about...

I don't really care honestly.

Pretty much everyday I look through the not too big selection of books inside the RV and always end up closing my eyes and just pick.

I know it sounds weird about me complaining about something stupid like boredom in a world like this. But honestly, reading is a really good way of taking your mind from things.

No, I'm not saying that it helps me forget about the walkers walking about. But believe it or not, that is not what I want to stop thinking about for at least 5 minutes.

The Atlanta group is still in Atlanta and it's been a while since they left. Glenn said himself that he preferred working alone when it came to supplies so bringing a group might have been a pretty bad idea. And that is what refuses to leave my mind.

_What if one gets left behind? What if the group is too big, causing the walkers to notice and attack them? _

_And Merle is with them on top of that! He is probably one of the loudest people ever! And a racist douchebag on top of that. Seriously, this is just screaming 'disaster' isn't it..._

That's what I think over and over again and it's really starting to get on my nerves.

I know what you want to ask, 'Why didn't you just go with them then?'

Simply put, I'm a bit of a coward and would probably just slow down the whole group or walk into a car with an alarm or something. There's a reason I wasn't even asked to join.

At this rate it would end with me going down to the lake and wash a bunch of clothes on my own, which we had decided to wait to do until the others came back. And I am not a big fan of doing laundry, even though there isn't much else that I can do at camp.

_But I want to be distracted! _I sighed.

Believe it or not... but you probably will believe it, this nervousness is actually pretty normal and happens almost every time Glenn leaves for Atlanta. Of course it would feel even worse when he brings 5 other people with him.

It's strange cause I never really think he will get hurt. I know he is both fast and smart enough to avoid any sort of walker attention. I guess it's just one of those 'you are my friend so I have to worry' things.

And as I said, today it's 5 times worse than normal so of course I'm gonna be pretty much a bore to be around.

Surprised that Amy is still bothering answering me when I throw out my meaningless complaints.

God dammit being bored is actually a pretty good thing in this world, what's wrong with me.

"Having an interesting read?" The older man Dale asked as he made his way down the RV, he'd just been on lookout duty.

"Honestly Dale," I put the bird book down on the table, "have you actually ever read one of the books stored in that RV?"

"Well.. yeah. One or two perhaps?" it almost sounded like a question, making me raise an eyebrow. "Sorry, if I had known the world would end I'd brought something better." he chuckled.

I smiled at him as he walked over to Jim who was working on the camper car. Something wrong with the engine I think... or something in that area.

I suck at vehicles.

"I wonder why he even bothered buying these..." Amy mumbled as she continued to read, making me giggle.

Amy and I had been pretty good friends ever since I first got here, her older sister was a little suspicious of course but as soon as that passed I got along great with both of them.

Andrea always treats me like another little sister too, while she is sweet most of the time to Amy, I'm more of the one she likes to tease. Annoying at times but it still feels great in a way.

Dale is also really nice. I see him as the wiser one of the group, he also tends to think alot about others making him even more likable.

Glenn not counted, he was the first one to really accept me here. Well most did it the first or second day while he did it pretty much the second I introduced myself, even giving me the opinion to be on lookout.

And I could tell Shane didn't really approve that but didn't really say anything.

Now, don't see Shane as a bad person in the equation, he is a good leader. He is also really nice. And is quite good with kids! Who would have known.

"When do you think the others will return?"

"Pretty soon I think... you'd think the scavenging would go faster with more people, right?" I flashed a nervous smile, doing my best to make it seem assuring. I have no clue if it tricked her though.

Andrea, who's also in Atlanta if you remember, is Amy's sister so it would be pretty weird, in my opinion, if she wasn't even more worried than me, though she hid it much better.

I looked up at the sun while using my left hand to stop the light from reaching my eyes.

_One can hope that the heat won't effect them in any way..._

Today was probably one of the hottest day ever. Well that I can remember at least, spent a lot of time inside the apartment so the the sun didn't really face me that much.

But you'd seriously think that sitting here, in the shadow of the RV in nothing but my only pair of shorts and white v-neck would be enough to not feel like you're tanning on a beach in the middle of June.

Though it isn't surprising that the silver necklace around my neck has gotten really warm during this ridiculously hot day. I swear that if I lift it from my skin it will have left a red print of a butterfly wing.

The closes thing to a tattoo that I'll ever have the chance to get I guess, so not all bad.

"Amy, got a hairband?"

"Not here.." she answered, clearly trying to focus on her book but also getting bothered by the heat.

I waited a few seconds before standing up, "Fine, I'll go get my own."

However, I didn't get very far from the chair before Amy put down her own book and walked over to Dale and Jim.

"They should have been back by now..." it sounded more like a question than a statement, she probably just wants to know if he had seen anything at all from his lookout.

It would be nice if he had, but I doubt he would it from us if that was the case so I'm not getting my hopes up.

His answer never got to leave his lips before another, more static voice, started talking.

"_**Base camp..**_" everyone close enough to notice the sound coming from the radio made their way to the RV, getting ready for news since the voice sounded very familiar, even though half of it was static noises. "_**Base camp, this is T-Dog.**__**Can anybody hear my voice?**_"

Dale was the one to climb straight up to the roof to answer the call.

"Hello? Reception's bad on this end. Repeat."

"_**Shane, is that you?**_" T-Dog answered, probably having as bad reception as us.

"Is that them?" Lori asked sounding both hopeful yet unsure.

It must be them, I'm sure. But why are they contacting us?

Surely they wouldn't bother with the radio just to say that the mission went smooth?

"_**We're sitting in the shit. We're trapped in the department store.**_"

_Trapped?! What do they mean trapped?_

I asked myself but already knew the answer. What else if not walkers.

It was not hard to notice how tension spread in the air around us as the word 'trapped' was a very bad one, especially in Atlanta.

Shane who also had made his way over to listen to the radio scratched the back of his head nervously, "He said they're trapped?"

"_**The geeks are all over this place**_**. Herds of them.**" T-Dog continued. The last part he said before it cutting was pretty unclear, but clear enough. "_**We're surrounded**__._"

Dale tried to keep contact, "T-Dog, repeat that last, repeat."

No answer, the only sounded being heard was from the thunder, warning for the shower of rain that probably soon would be upon us. Them too.

_They're.. all stuck...?_

"He said the department store." Lori said.

"I heard it too." I said quietly, waiting for answers to what the heck we should do about this. Most of the people, including me turned to the groups leader.

Lori walked over to him, "Shane?"

She barely finished saying his name before he simply answered, "No. We do not go after them."

_Excuse me?_

He looked at the rest of us, "We do not risk the rest of the group, ya'll know that."

"So we're just gonna leave her there?" Amy asked, clearly surprised.

Myself, I had a hard time getting out any form of sentence right now.

"Amy, I know that this is not easy-"

"She volunteered to go. To help the rest of us."

"I know. She knew the risks, right? So she's trapped, she's gone." Shane explained with sympathy in both his voice and eyes.

Yet I felt myself getting angrier after every word leaving him.

Amy looked ready to cry but said nothing.

"We'll just have to deal with that." he sighed, "There's nothing we can do."

The last sentence seemed to struck Amy like the lightning, "She is my sister, you son of a bitch." was the last being said by her to Shane before she ran off.

Lori gave Shane the meanest glare I'd ever seen from her just before she walked off after Amy to give her comfort.

The silence started once again.

I waited for him to speak up, saying he was joking or something like that. For him to send atleast one person after them, I'd actually volunteer for this one.

But all he did was give another sigh and put his hand on Carls head, "It's alright, bud."

That did it.

"How is this alright?" Shane turned his head to me. "Please explain how this would be alright in any way because I don't understand."

I could tell what he wanted to do. Give me the same look as he gave Amy, the same speech.

"You think I like this any more than you do, Zoe?" he answered using my nickname.

He truly sounded and looked regretful, but that doesn't do anything.

"I will-"

"No you won't. We're not risking anyone else."

I glared at him, "We are leaving those people to die. There is nothing 'alright' about that." then I walked as fast as I could back to my tent.

My first plan had been to find Amy and Lori but honestly, I could need some comfort myself.

The thought of it all... all those people I had gotten know, stuck and left to die in a department store surrounded by walkers... it's too sick to comprehend.

One of them is Glenn, the guy who pretty much saved my life by offering me to come back to this group with him and grew to become like an older brother...

_What can I do... _

I laid down on top of my covers, not really feeling like doing anything at all, at least not anything you can do in camp.

_Guess I could try____to steal a car... but I have no idea how to drive, and would probably get caught._

Though, to be honest. I have no idea what I actually would do if went there... surrounded by walkers does not sound like an easy thing to conquer...

I let out an aggravated sigh, feeling completely frustrated by all this. It was really giving me the headache.

_What can I do? It's really been a while since I felt this useless._

My eyes threw themselves open from hearing a very sharp noise, somewhat similar to a siren of some sort.. or car alarm.

_Shit, I fell asleep? How the heck did that happen? And what's with that sound?_

"What is that?" I heard Shane ask, probably to Dale since he is the one who usually is on the lookout.

"Is it Andrea and the others?"

Not even bothering to pull on my black mid-calf engineer boots I felt myself run out of my tent, almost making it fall over by hitting my head on the roof on my way out.

In a matter of seconds I had reached the RV where Dale indeed stood with his binoculars held high.

"Well, I'll be damned..." he mumbled without removing the binoculars from his eyes.

"What is it, Dale?" I asked loudly enough for him to hear me, obviously hoping for the same answer as Amy were.

"A stolen car would be my guess."

The beeping got louder and louder for every breath we took as we intently stared at the road, waiting for the car to arrive.

No one said a word.

From the corner of my eye I spotted Sophia, the other child living in the camp, covering her ears to block out the sound.

Little by little the red car started to get visible and was soon parked right infront of us, the beeping not stopping.

Everyone seemed to hold their breath in suspense of who would walk out, surely the car weren't big enough to fit the whole Atlanta group?

The car door flew open and out of the vehicle came none other than Glenn with a big grin spread across his face.

Before I really had a time to react Shane and Amy already got on his case, telling him to turn the alarm off and asking where the others were.

Frankly I want to know that too. And turning off the noise is probably a good idea.

Soon Shane managed to get the car to stop beeping and Glenn could focus more on Amys questions about the other survivors.

_Seriously doubt their dead. Glenn isn't heartless enough to smile if that was the case._

"Where is Andrea? Is she okay?"

"She's fine! Everyone is! ... Although Merle.. not so much."

_What about crazy Merle?_

Once again, I didn't have time to open my mouth before Shane scolded Glenn about bringing 'This loud wheeling bastard' since walkers are attracted to sounds.

"It's probably okay." Dale said, "The sound echoes all over the hills, it's hard to pinpoint the source."

Shane glared at him, looking as if Dale had just thrown an insult in his face, "I'm not arguing, just sayin'." he then turned to Glenn, "And it wouldn't hurt for you to think ahead the next time."

Amy asked once more about the rest of the group but before even being able to complete the sentence a huge truck arrived, parking behind the rest of the cars.

Out of it came all the members that was thought to be missing, making me feel somewhat bad about doubting the fact that they would return.

As soon as Andrea got visible Amy threw herself in her arms without thinking twice. Morales greeted everyone but walked straight up to his wife and two children while T-Dog walked over to Dale and Jim.

Finally I got the time to breath out without a worry, for the moment atleast. Though now I felt bad for not being that upset over the fact that Merle didn't make it back. Never cared for him but getting killed by walkers, which is what I'm gonna assume is what happened for the moment, is just wrong.

No one deserves that.

As I looked back to Glenn from the happy reunion between the two sisters I noticed how he were still looking over at the truck

I walked over to him, "About time you guys showed up."

In the middle of the sentence he had turned his head with a small smile crossed on his face.

"So what's with the car?" My eyes had turned slightly to the car and back to Glenn, whose smile had turned into a somewhat cocky grin, giving me the feeling that his reason would not have a simple answer.

Hell, the word 'simple' itself slowly started losing its meaning in this world.

"Ah you know, just used it to lure some walkers away from the group."

_Of course it would be something like that..._

I sighed, and while doing my best to not let any sign of worry slip out together with my reply, "And the group decided to let you do that, how?"

What I wanted to ask was something more in style of 'why in the hell did you do that?' but I really don't need to scold him since Shane already did the honor. He might not have done it for the same reason but still.

Besides, what's done is done and it's not like me telling him not to do stupid things (which I do from time to time before he leaves for Atlanta) will change his way to act. Though I think he usually makes smart moves instead of stupid ones.

Heroic stunts isn't really needed when you're on your own after all.

Though the fact that this guy who already has to put his life on the line more than the rest of us once again, in the same day had to be walker bait did indeed piss me off.

I know he knows the city the best and is the quickest but...

Glenn opened his mouth to answer my question but opening it was all he managed before closing it again as other questions filled the air.

"Who is he..?"

Out of the driver's seat of the truck behind Glenn an unfamiliar face stepped out.

The stranger wore a police uniform. Whether he used to be a cop or stole it from one I don't know. Since he came back with the others I'm gonna go with the first one though.

He looked around, looking a little nervous until he apparently spotted something that he liked, cause he seemed to be pleasantly surprised.

I looked behind me and saw Carl starting to run towards the man who embraced him without any doubt. Soon Lori had run up to him as well, joining in on the hug.

Shane stood a few meters back, looking as surprised as the other man had.

_Have I missed something?_


	3. The First in a Long Time

Rick Grimes. An ex-cop from King County. Loris dead husband and the father of Carl. Well... obviously he wasn't dead but he was thought to be.

We were all gathered around a camp fire in the dark, listening to Ricks story of how he managed to get here from the hospital he was being held at for a bullet wound from months ago.

He is also a childhood friend of Shane's, explaining how he knew Lori and Carl and even helping them out of King County.

Knowing this makes thinking back on the whole reunion thing so much nicer. You can't really help but to feel jealous for they guy being able to find his family and friend against alot of odds.

And surprise, surprise, apparently Glenn is the one who saved him from being locked in a tank surrounded by a bunch of walkers. Does that guy help people on a regular basis or is it only during times when monsters walk around?

_I might never know._

I sneaked a glance his way across the fire and couldn't help but to smile as I looked back to the flames.

_He really is a good guy, isn't he?_

Not that I ever doubted it, well except for back when I first met him of course. Just haven't really given it much of a thought I guess.

A sound behind me suddenly appeared making me jump, it wasn't loud but a little startling nonetheless.

I turned back to Ed who had dumped another piece of wood in his own fire, making it grow.

Yeah, a miscount on my part. There is actually two fires here. One for pretty much the whole group, except Ed and his wife and child who had decided not to join us.

Ed had anyway.

Shane sighed as he stood up from his seat and walked over to the family to explain, **again**, to Ed why we didn't want our fires to be visible in the sky.

Deciding not to earn a glare from the large man with very strange glares, I simply turned back to the others, where Glenn seemed to have found my jump to be entertaining.

I won't even question how in the hell he had the time to spot it.

Shane sat back down with an annoyed expression, though it disappeared pretty quickly. I swear, making that guy really ticked off seemed to be nearly impossible.

I sneaked another look around the whole gang then back to the flames, feeling a bit happy. It had been a while since we had all been assembled like this simply to chill out.

Of course the thought of walkers didn't leave my mind, but it decreased by a lot.

"I hate to break the good mood but..." my head together with many others snapped to face Dale, "Have anyone given any though to Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear that his brother was left behind."

_Oh snap..._

I had forgotten about it, about Merle.

Daryl will indeed not be pleased to hear this, and he is already scary enough.

Yes I have a problem with angry people. That's one of the reasons me and the Dixon's never could exchange a conversation.

"I'll tell him." T-Dog said, "I dropped the key so it's all on me."

Cuffed to a roof with no chance of getting free... gotta suck to be fair.

"I cuffed him." Rick spoke, "That makes him mine."

"Guys, it's no competition." we turned to Glenn, "I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy."

I felt horrible to admit it, but he was right.

Those brothers are plain out racist, the first ones I've met, believe it or not. Another reason why talking to them isn't exactly something I'm used to.

"I did what I did. I won't hide from it." T-Dog didn't look up.

I got to say that he is one brave dude. I wish I could claim that I would tell Daryl straight up, but I honestly don't know. I doubt it actually.

The beating would be all I'd have to think about.

"We could lie..." Amy said, sitting as close to Andrea as possible.

"Or tell the truth. Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he'd gotten us killed." Andrea looked over to Lori, "You husband did the right thing. If Merle got left behind it's nobody's fault but Merles."

"That's what we're gonna tell Daryl?" I asked with my usual skeptical voice.

"I don't see a rational discussion to be had from that, do you?" Dale asked the group, though his head was turned to Andrea. "We are gonna have our hands full once he get back from his hunt.

Silence surrounded us.

I'm gonna be honest, I have always 'preferred', if you'd call it that, Daryl over Merle since Merle seemed to be a mean jerk 24/7 while Daryl atleast had his calm moments.

But Daryl is not exactly an angel either, pretty sure he could reach the potential to be as much of a scary guy like his older brother.

"I was scared and I ran." T-Dog spoke up with guilt shining through his voice, "I'm not ashamed of it."

"We were all scared and we all ran. What's your point?" Andrea asked, leaning her head on Amy's.

Another small silence until T-Dog once again was the one to break it.

"I stopped long enough to chain that door."

'_Chain that door?'_

"The staircase is narrow. Not more than 5-6 walkers could press against that door at the same time. And that's not enough to break chain.. the padlock." No one said anything until T-Dog spoke once more, "My point is, Dixon's still alive. He's still up there, handcuffed on that roof. And it's our fault."

He left the camp fire and walked off, probably going to his tent.

_Merle's... still up there? With walkers threatening to open that door at any time? Not knowing we're even talking about him?! That's just... I don't even.._

I felt like my chin had just hit the ground.

Being stuck like that must be plain out terrifying.

Before anyone else had the chance to open their mouths I stood up, "I going to bed. Goodnight."

I then returned back to my tent.

I closed the entrance and got changed to my sleeping top, a white tank top I borrowed from Dale that reached to a little under my butt. Perfect to sleep in.

And for the record, he offered it! Sure he did it because I let it slip that I didn't bring my pajamas but still. I said it as a joke but the offer was genuine.

He is kind like that.

I laid down under the covers, staring into the 'wall' of my little 'room'.

Probably one of the worst nights in my life.

I wasn't with them in Atlanta, but the guilt that T-Dog obviously felt over leaving him on that roof seemed to have infected me in a way.

The next day arrived much faster than I'd expected. It felt like I had hardly slept anything that night yet I wasn't tired at all.

And I'm always tired in the morning.

"_Zoey, come out here and help with the laundry._" I heard Andrea from outside my tent.

_Damn laundry day._

However, not helping out wasn't an option. Everyone needs to pull their weight after all.

I immediately started to look for clothes to wear for the day, not really knowing how hot or chilly it would get later during the day.

Hot is probably the best guess though.

I didn't bring much from the apartment, so the old problems about what to wear, what looked best and stuff like that had ceased to exist.

The torn up jeans and v-neck from yesterday, a black tank top, a red hoodie for cold nights and a pair of gray jeans with huge tears from being clumsy back in Atlanta and crawling under cars. Oh and those black engineer boots, the only shoes I could bother bringing.

Comfortable and easy to put on. What shoes could possibly be better for the end of the world?

As I said, no problem to figure out an outfit anymore, not really complaining. Doing that was always a pain in the ass back before this.

I put on the shorts together with the black top, then pulled on my shoes and made my way out of the tent.

Surprisingly wet clothes had already been brought up here and while Carol seemed to be responsible for ironing, a little further off Andrea, Amy and Lori were busy hanging the clothes for drying.

I smiled at Carol as I walked over to the Lori and the other girls, we only own one iron so helping with hanging was pretty much all I could do at the moment.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked, feeling slightly guilty for not helping out with the really annoying part, washing the clothes, "I could have helped out earlier..."

"We tried but you seemed completely out of it." Amy answered, "So we decided that four of us was enough for today."

"Sorry..." I grabbed a shirt and put it on the clothesline.

"No problem." Lori smiled.

I honestly did feel bad though. Mostly at the fact that Andrea was helping out, considering that she had been gathering supplies and almost got killed yesterday, while I slept out.

Andrea seemed to notice this as she smiled at me and said, "I expect you to work twice as hard the next laundry day though."

I smiled back at her and let a small laugh slip while answering, "Don't I always work twice as hard comparing to now?"

Doing the laundry is probably one of the the most boring and easiest chores to do in this place, though it isn't really a bad thing at all.

I mean, I'd rather do this than running around trying to knock walkers on their head, or risk bumping into one and my complaining about it is really stupid. Though I'll admit that I envy those people who have the courage to actually put their life on the line for the rest of the group.

In my life of this world, I have probably managed to hit four walkers.

The first one was on the first week, I'd left my home to look for other living people, I mistook a geek for a living person in a shoe shop, not seeing why I would find a walking dead person there.

It grabbed me but I managed to get in a kick in its head, then without really thinking dropped the stores cash register on its head, crushing it. It really messed me up and I didn't leave the apartment building for a few days.

The second time I got grabbed by one as I climbed over the fence and managed to kick it off me. I think it got up again though.

The last and latest one was with Glenn. Don't know if I 'killed' this one but I got in a hit, I wouldn't forget something like that.

Otherwise I kind of just... hid from them.

I honestly don't even know how I managed it. Pure luck I guess.

"Oh come on!" Glenn's voice could be heard a bit away, making me turn to see what was bothering him.

Dale, Morales and Jim apparently started taking parts from the red car he had arrived in yesterday, cause Glenn did not seem pleased about what he saw as he looked at it.

_Guys and their vehicles... _

From behind us I could hear Rick thanking Carol for taking care of his clothes before he made his way over to Glenn, probably to find out what was going on.

"Look at them. Vultures." I heard Glenn say without turning his head from the car. "Go on, strip it clean!"

"The generators need every drop of fuel it could get, got no power without it." Dale gave him a pat on the shoulder, "Sorry Glenn."

Glenn and Rick exchanged one sentence each to each other but they were a little too quiet for me to hear it.

... Not that I want to eavesdrop of anything.

Okay maybe a little... not enough to actually try it though!

My eyes wandered from Rick walking away back at my friend who still didn't move his sight from the car.

_Naw... Glenn looks a little upset..._

I wanted to go over and talk to him. In my opinion being upset over a car is pretty stupid.

However I don't really have a say when it comes to being upset over stupid things. Who was it that complained about boredom and laundry not long ago?

And hell I never even bothered to get a driver's license so I don't know how loosing a car feels, maybe it's really horrible?

...I doubt it.

I looked back to Rick who had walked over to us, probably to talk to his wife who greeted him with "Morning, officer."

Rick smiled to us then back at Lori.

"Hey."

Andrea, Amy and I grinned at each other for a second before continuing with hanging the clothes to dry.

"You sleep okay?"

"Better than in a long time."

Lori smiled, "Well, I didn't wanna wake you. I figured you could use it."

Rick didn't answered but just looked at her, the smile never leaving his face. She turned back to her work, "God what?"

"I've been thinking." Lori looked up, "About the man we left behind.

I looked up from my hoodie which I had tried to straighten out on the washing line.

Neither of them spoke for a few seconds, making me feel awkward and slowly turning my attention back to the clothes.

But my ear still couldn't help but to listen to the conversation going on right next to me.

"You're not serious."

Before Rick could answer Shane did a somewhat big entrance with his car, back from getting water.

"Water's here, ya'll. Just remember to boil before use."

I am not gonna lie. I wanted to hear what Rick had to say about the Merle issue, being the curious person that I am, but decided to help with the water instead. I had already skipped out on half the laundry duty, might as well help with whatever else I can during the day.

"Mornin'!" I said to Glenn as I reached for one of the water containers next to him. "You feeling lively?"

"More or less." he answered with a smile as he helped me to lift down the container.

Unnecessary? A little. Helpful? Yes.

He just had that habit to help me out with stuff if it involves physical effort. Needed or not. Of course I don't mind it all. Besides, unload the containers down from the car is the hardest part.

He held it out towards me with a small sign of struggle holding it up, trying to hide it however.

"Thank you." I giggled as I took it from him before he got the chance to drop it.

I know I have mentioned seeing Glenn as a brother rather than friend and this is only one of the reasons together with the fact that we did get close really fast.

Ever since I joined the group he really did his best to make me feel comfortable around the camp. And as I said, he tended to help me with with lifting heavy stuff or with pretty much anything that he noticed me struggle with.

I remember Ryan doing the exact same thing with heavy boxes and food bags when we were younger.

_Ryan..._

Glenn seemed to notice my sudden change of mood as he got a concerned look.

"You okay?"

I snapped back from my thoughts but before I could answer a loud scream echoed through the camp, coming from not too far away.

"**MOM**!" became heard together with a girls scream.

Lori and Rick immediately made their way into the wooden path to search for their son. "**DAD**! **MOMMY**!" was heard once again.

Shane threw a pipe to Rick and soon all three of them had taken the lead with most of the camp chasing after them, including me.

After a few seconds of running both of the children could be seen. Carl ran into his mother's arm and Sophia into Carols.

"Nothing bit you? Nothing scratched you?"

"No, I'm fine." Carl answered.

Shane, Rick, Glenn, Dale, Morales and Jim barely stopped before they continued to run to find the source of why the kids had screamed.

It wasn't hard to figure out, yet I found myself being dragged to follow them together with the two sisters, see it for myself.

I regret it.

A dead deer was being eaten by a dead man in dirty old clothes. His hair was thinner like he had dropped more than half of it and his mouth... red with blood dripping from his chin.

I felt myself being paralyzed, not knowing what to do. The bat from my Atlanta days were left in my tent, and even if I had brought it I doubt that I would be able to do anything anyway.

It was plain out horrible and disgusting. And it felt like ages ago I'd actually seen one, especially up this close.

Everything I could remember from the days in the camp, my complaints over silly things, me actually taking time to tan suddenly felt like a big slap in the face. This is what some of the people outside camp still see everyday. Things that trapped half of the group yesterday.

It turned towards us and gave something that could best be described as big growl.

With little hesitation Rick smacked it with the pipe, right after Shane gave it another hit, the walker swayed towards Glenn who smacked it hard enough for it to fall down on the ground.

Soon everyone around it, me, Andrea and Amy being exceptions, hit it with all their might.

I just couldn't make myself look away until Dale finally managed to chop its head off by the neck with his axe.

That just did it for me and I turned my head to the right to avoid seeing the headless rotting corpse.

"It's the first one we've had up here." I heard Dale say after a moment of silence, "They never come this far up the mountain."

"They're running out of food in the city, that's what." Jim stated, making me feel sick. The thought of the food being...

Chills go through my spine just thinking about it.

A crack of a twig sounded from the deep forest in front of us, making everyone once again raise their weapons.

One walker got here, it's not good but not too bad, but two on the same day? It can't be possible.

Andrea stepped in front of Amy and used her left hand to gently push me back.

My eyes widened, waiting to see what would charge out of the bushes...

And out came Daryl Dixon with his crossbow held high and a bunch of dead rodents hanging from his shoulder.

_Great..._

It was a sarcastic thought, though I mean it too... I mean I prefer him over braindead monsters.

I breathed out, feeling my heart pound fast against my chest.

"Son of a bitch..." the guys backed off from the dead animal the walker had fed on, "That's my deer."

"Look at it! All gnawed on by this..." he took a kick at the walkers body, "filthy," another one, "deceased," one more, "worthless bastard!"

What did I tell you? _Scary._

"Calm down son. That's not helping." Dale interrupted, trying to calm the pissed off redneck.

He did not calm down.

"What do you know about it, old man?" Daryl went straight up to Dale, "You take that stupid hat and go back to On Golden Pond."

I will repeat it. Scary... with his mean voice and glares. They sometimes gets worse than Eds...

"Been tracking this deer for miles." he sighed as he pulled out the arrows of the deer, one by one. "I'll drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison." He looked at Shane and pointed at the huge bite from the walker on the deers neck, "Ya think we could cut around this chewed up part right here?"

"I would not risk that."

Daryl sighed again, "It's a damn shame." he gave a last look on what was supposed to be his kill, then looked back at us, flashing the dead rodents, "I got us some squirrel, bout a dozen or so. That'll have to do."

_Oh yum. Okay it actually doesn't taste too bad, but for some reason... eating squirrels just feels nasty. You take what you get I guess._

"Oh god.." I looked over at Amy and Andrea who looked a little too freaked out for it to be the thought of eating squirrels.

I looked at the direction I did and probably got the exact same face expression as they did.

The head that had been chopped of... was not dead.

Andrea took Amy's arm and led her away before being able to see anything else. I just stayed at the same spot, looking at its eyes moving around, trying to find its prey.

_What the actual fuck?_

"Come on people, what the hell!" Daryl aimed his crossbow and fired.

Got it right in the eyeball.

I felt like vomiting, but decided that it would be a little too extreme. I mean... it had to die in some way.

So why not an arrow... in the eye socket.

_The chills are back..._

He pulled the arrow back out, since it isn't exactly easy to come across new arrows nowadays, " It's gotta be the brain. Don't ya'll know nothing?"

Daryl stomped passed me as he made his way back to the camp.

The worry of him not finding the one person he most definitely would be looking for once he got back had completely slipped my mind by a simple thing like watching a walker get killed.


	4. Five

"Merle!" Daryl called out making me stop dead in my tracks.

_Shit I forgot.._

"Merle! Get your ass out here." he yelled, "Got us some squirrel. Let's stew 'em up."

He didn't exactly stop for a break and continued to walk through camp to find his brother. God his reaction won't be pretty. At least he had put his crossbow down.

I put my hands to my chest as I felt my heart beat that hard again.

Of course I don't think he would really you know... kill anyone but... I hate when people yell at each other! Never cared for it since it really is some scary shit.

"Daryl, slow up a bit I need to talk to you." Shane interfered before the redneck could walk even further off.

"'Bout what?"

"About Merle." he had caught up to him now and stood right in front of him, "There's a... problem in Atlanta."

No one said anything as Daryl looked at the rest of the people around him, mostly at the ones who was in the same group as Merle, probably hoping to be able to locate him in some way.

"He dead?"

"We're not sure."

"He either is or he ain't!"

Can't blame Daryl for getting pissed at that answer, I mean I would feel at least a little better knowing so a 'maybe' is pretty bad.

"There's no easy way to say this so I'll just say it." Rick cut in, passing me and walking up to Daryl.

_This will get ugly._

"Who are you?"

"Rick Grimes."

"Rick Grimes?" he snarled, "Got something you wanna tell me?"

"Your brother was a danger to us all." Rick answered, unfazed by the other mans threatening glare, "So I handcuffed him on a roof to some piece of metal. He's still there."

_Talk about getting to the point._

But god that sounded bad, much worse than it did when I went through the sentence in my head yesterday.

Daryl turned around and took a few small steps from where Rick was standing, "Hold on, let me process this. You handcuffed my brother to a roof! And you left him there?!"

He plain out yelled the last part making me jump. I felt myself slightly bump into Glenn who had walked back with the rest of the 'walker-killing' team. Other than me noticing him standing there we didn't really interact though, since what was going on in front of us was really getting intense.

But Rick still didn't flinch.

"Yeah." though he did sound apologetic.

Daryl glared daggers at him for a few seconds before throwing the god damn load of squirrels at him, though Rick managed to avoid it briefly while shane pushed the redneck to the ground.

Daryl was soon on his feet again, this time with a knife he had grabbed from his belt, trying to slash Rick who in response did his best to back off until he finally did a try to grab it.

Soon Shane was on the case once again, holding Daryl in a choke-hold that didn't exactly look pleasant.

_I knew it was gonna be bad..._

Well everyone did.

"You best let me go!"

"No, I think it's better this way." Shane answered calmly.

I couldn't help but to feel sorry for him, Daryl I mean.

"Choke-hold's illegal."

"File a complaint."

No one around them moved an inch, not sure what to do.

Rick tried his best to calm the situation by saying that he wished for a calm conversation, he didn't receive and answer but that could go both ways.

At least he didn't get a threat or cuss tossed his way, or squirrels for that matter, as Shane let go of the very pissed of younger brother.

"It's not Ricks fault." T-Dog said, I hadn't even noticed him coming back with the fire wood. Too much excitement over here is probably the reason. "I had the key. I dropped it."

"And you couldn't pick it up?"

"I dropped it down a drain."

Frustration seemed to really hit Daryl in the face. First it seemed like he would just lay down on the ground which wasn't very imaginable, then he just stood up telling T-Dog how the fact that it was an accident didn't make him feel better by any length.

Though he seemed to have somewhat calmed down for real. Of course he wasn't happy, but at least he didn't reach for his knife or anything.

"I chained the door to the roof so that the geeks couldn't get to him. With a padlock."

Daryl didn't show any sign of happiness in knowing that, neither did it seem to piss him off any further.

"It's gotta count for something?" Rick cut in from behind him.

"Hell to all ya'll!" he sounded even more upset this time, but not so much by anger anymore.

It really made me feel somewhat sad for him. I mean, they are brothers after all. It's gotta suck knowing that your family is stuck in the middle of chaos with the possibility of getting killed _any second. _

Padlock or not, you just can never be sure.

"Just tell me where he is so I can go get him."

"He'll show you. Isn't that right?" Lori stated from the door of the RV, not seeming pleased with the sentence but said it with a voice that said she knew the answer of her husband.

I looked over at Rick who looked around the whole camp, "I'm going back."

With that Lori headed back inside.

_Back to Atlanta? I mean I admire his wish to help Merle out but... they just got back! And Rick just got reunited with his lost family!_

I knew it couldn't be helped though. He seemed like that kind of guy who would rescue a kitty from a tree on his way to work.

Though this kitty is a racist asshole on a roof surrounded by man-eating freaks.

Do you see the irony?

Me neither.

Everyone walked off to minding their own business once again, not mentioning what had just happened.

Or I just didn't hear couldn't hear it. Not really wanting to walk into the topic I decided to just return to lifting the water cans.

Noticing that Glenn probably had the same plan in mind I picked up my can before he managed to try to do it for me.

"Man..." I heard him mumble as he took his own can that he had left before.

Like I immediately knew what he was talking about I answered,"Glenn... you've known that car for a day or so, you need to let it go."

The fight between Daryl and Rick and Shane would be the first thing coming to anyones mind. But knowing Glenn, he, like the rest of the camp, wouldn't want to make a huge discussion on **that **matter.

So him mumbling about the car was a clever guess.

"I know but... what's the chance of me ever getting to drive something that nice again?"

_I knew it!_

We dropped off the water cans together with the few ones we had from the last run.

I sighed, "There's thousands of abandoned cars in that city, it's impossible for you to not find something equally as nice on your scavenging."

Obviously I didn't like to think of him, or anyone for that matter, to go to Atlanta but it is true that we will and probably already have seen a bunch of cars like that.

...Seriously I'm 90% sure he isn't nearly as 'upset' as he pretends to be right now. At least it didn't look that way before when Rick spoke to him.

Maybe a little though.

Glenn grabbed the next can from the back of Shanes pickup for me to hold, then grabbed another one for himself.

"By the way..." I said as we made our way back to the water stash, "how exactly did you even escape that department store to get that car? I thought you were surrounded?"

His eyes made a small twitch and his head snapped to looking straight ahead instead of at me. "It was nothing really."

"You apparently sneaked past a bunch of walkers. That sounds like something to me. Tell me about it."

"Zoey, trust me, you don't wanna know."

Before I could continue the conversation Shane and Rick could be heard not far away, probably discussing the plan to get Merle.

It managed to catch most in the camps attention.

"So you and Daryl? That's your plan?" Lori stated.

They walked a bit past us towards the truck that Rick had transported the Atlanta group back from their mission in.

The way she said it really made me skeptical to the whole idea. I know Daryl knows his way around walkers and Rick doesn't seem to be clueless, but then there's the fact that neither of them was that used to Atlanta which is far from a walk in the park.

Rick arrived yesterday and the Dixons usually hunted in the woods.

And once you think about those things, the plan does sound pretty poor.

Rick turned towards where we stood, his eyes looking at Glenn.

_Hell no..._

Glenn also seemed to noticed where this was going, it wasn't exactly hard afterall.

"Come on...!" he groaned.

How could I possibly not have expected this? Rick does not seem stupid enough to go without a person who knows the grounds..

"You know the way. You've been there before, in and out no problem you said it yourself."

_Damn you and your big mouth Glenn!_

He didn't answer, just removed his cap to give his hair a nervous touch, and that made me feel even more worried.

It's no secret that Glenn is one of the nicest people I've met, and will therefore not say no. It's so obvious that I feel like a complete moron for hoping he would.

"It's not fair of me to ask, I know that. But I'd feel a lot better with you along and I know Lori would too."

Shit why couldn't Merle just have not been a complete jerk! Then he wouldn't be cuffed on that stupid roof and we would be having this stupid conversation!

I honestly don't even want Rick to go! Not even Daryl so this is just a big 'screw you' situation.

"That's great." Shane said, "So now you're gonna risk three men?"

"Four."

My gaze snapped over to where the voice came from.

_T-Dog too?!_

I swear I could hear Daryl scoff at the fact that the guy who dropped the key was coming along and T-Dog answering with a comeback, but I can't say my mind was really too focused at that.

I mean, leaving in a group didn't work that well the last time, did it?

"That's four..."

... _Fuck it!_

"Five..." I half whispered, though it came out loud enough for them to hear.

It probably was a surprise for everyone that the person who's never even been in the woods because of the fear of meeting a dead freak would volunteer to go to Atlanta.

_God I don't want to._

But I still felt the need to keep an eye on the new group and at least try to help out.

"You sure?" Shane ask, worry written all over his face. Probably thinking back on my first days here, freaking out about everything unusual and constantly worrying about going one meter too far from the tents.

I felt Glenn staring at me from my right, probably not very happy about the fact of me running around in a building most likely crawling with walkers.

_I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna._

"Yes..."

The fact that even Rick, the new guy, looked very uncertain of bringing me along pretty much did it for me.

Did everyone really see me as helpless as a kid? Even the guy who just met me?

Going back to that place would probably not too bad for my reputation here then.. you know as long as I get back alive.

_I guess this will make up for me missing the laundry duty..._

"Five then." Dale said, also a little surprised from my offer I bet. Since he was the first one besides Glenn I bonded with since I got here I did not hold back on telling him about my fear of walkers.

Shane looked from me back to his childhood friend.

"It's not just five. You're putting everyone of us at risk. Just know that, Rick. You saw that walker. It was here, in camp."

It had been near. I hadn't thought about it that much before because my brain was pretty focused on both Daryl and how disgusting the walked had looked with an arrow in its eyeball. And even before that.

"They're moving out of the city. We need every able body we got to protect camp." he barely got to finish the sentence before Rick answered.

"Seems to me what you really need here are more guns."

_True, true._

"Right... guns!" I looked at Glenn who started to walk towards the two ex-cops.

Apparently there was a bag full of different kinds of guns and ammo that Rick had dropped when he first arrived and ran into a pack of geeks.

And it was pretty doubtful that the bag had grown legs and moved away. And the odds that any of the bandits I had met back when I lived in the city found it is not big since the only ones I saw, that didn't get eaten on the street, stuck to the different stores around town.

"You went through hell to find us." Lori said, "You just got here and now you're just gonna turn around and leave?"

"I don't want you to go, dad."

"To hell with the guns. Shane's right. Merle Dixon?" I knew someone would mention the fact that we're risking our lives for that douchebag! "He isn't worth one of your lives, even with guns thrown in."

_Ouch, not too shocking that the guy isn't popular but damn he is disliked._

Rick carefully explained to his wife about some man who had helped him when he had first woken up from his coma. They made a debt to meet up in Atlanta which as everyone here knows by now isn't a friendly place.

So he wants to warn him with a walkie talkie that got left in the bag with the guns.

I totally figured he didn't only do this for Merle.

Not calling him selfish or anything, on the contrary. But it makes a little more sense now, I mean I'm only coming to help Glenn, T-Dog and Rick out. And I guess Daryl if he needs it but you know... he still scares the hell outta me.

But if anyone of the Dixons are mean to me during this dangerous stupid trip I will be very upset and frustrated.

Rick and T-Dog walked off to borrow a tool from Dale and Jim so I decided to go and talk to Andrea and Amy who didn't seem any happier than me over this thing.

"Why are you going?" Amy asked with almost the same look that she had everytime someone mentioned Andrea while she was gone.

"I need a jog?" was all I could come up with, there is no need to go all 'I want to help people!' on them. "It will be fine. Besides, it's not like I'm going alone."

"Andrea just came back after almost getting stuck in Atlanta, and now you are going too without it actually being necessary."

Andrea only looked at me, waiting for my answer.

"Yeah, Andrea did just come back, so see this as my way of giving you time to catch up! And Rick was the one getting the whole group back here in one piece... you know except Merle but you get my point!"

I could tell that Andrea planned on defending herself from that "saved by Rick" thing but got interrupted by Daryl yelling loud enough for the whole camp to hear that he wanted to get going.

"See you later!" I waved as I ran to the truck, trying my best to not show any sign of being nervous. I didn't need to be seen as more of a nuisance than I already felt like.

I jumped into the back, noticing my 'roommates' being the very angry redneck and guy he was right now not too pleased with, T-Dog.

Well I should have expected it actually, Rick being the so called 'leader' of the whole operation and Glenn the guide it should have been obvious which two people would be sitting in the front seats.

_This is gonna be a hell of an awkward trip..._

_Oh my god make it stop..._

I swear, the whole way to Atlanta, not a word escaped anyones lips. And don't get me wrong, I would be okay with that... but those glares I have to watch T-Dog and Daryl giving each other is just too freaky...

It seriously looks like Daryl could jump him any moment and who knows, maybe he'll stab me with an arrow just because he can.

Okay this is a bit of an exaggeration, I think, but it really wouldn't be too shocking if he decided to punch someone.

After what seemed like forever the truck finally stopped moving, "We walk from here." and Rick and Glenn made their way outside.

I gave out a discreet sigh of relief and quickly made my way over to the back door, as I gently slid it open I heard Daryl and T-Dog exchanging small meanings to each other.

The chance of it being about something pleasant like the weather or something like that was very grim, so I decided to not really focus to hard about it.

Before actually managing to jump off the truck Daryl pushed his way passed me, making me hit the wall and therefore making me a bit pissed.

_Rude asshole._

...

What, you didn't expect me to actually try and start anything did you?

T-Dog gave me a glance as if making sure I didn't hurt myself, I doubt he actually thought I could get seriously injured by a shove to the wall but you know... he's POLITE.

I gave a slight nod and jumped off with him not a second behind, all five of us then started jogging towards the city, with Glenn in the lead.

**A New chapter once again! ~ I know that it might be a bit stiff these first chapters since I tend to like to keep to the plot, especially at the beginning but it will soon be time to improvise a bit more! And it will be awesome.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!  
**

**Please tell me your opinions since I really would like to know what there is to improve, if any characters are/turns a bit ooc and of course what you think overall. So yeah, please review! ~**

**See you in the next chapter!**


	5. Nausea

"What first? Merle or guns?" Rick asked as we had made our way through the metal fence thanks to one of Dales tools.

Daryl, not too surprisingly, took offense to the whole questions, "Merle! We're not even having this conversation!"

"We are." Rick said strictly. He turned to Glenn who had just let me walk through the fence before walking in himself, "You know the geography, it's your call."

"Merle's closest. We go there first."

Then we were running again.

Honestly, I used to be a lousy runner but after escaping from that many walkers back when I lived in Atlanta I kind of worked up my stamina.

Though after keeping close to camp for a while now I seemed to have gotten a bit worse at keeping a good pace, but it still worked.

And man, once we actually made it inside the big dead infested Atlanta the memories just kept flooding back.

Mostly bad at first, but then the good ones before everything went to hell started showing themselves. Then back to the scary ones once I spotted the first walker of the visit.

We ducked, did quick quiet steps from car to car, building to building which I actually didn't seem to have lost the talent of just yet.

We did get spotted a few times but managed to get out of trouble pretty easily thanks to Daryl's crossbow.

After a few more buildings we finally arrived at the mall the last Atlanta group had been stuck inside thanks to the freaks outside. Since the walkers had been able to break the glass doors it wasn't hard to get inside and obviously we found a few who still wandered around inside.

Those also got taken care of by Daryl who wanted to get to the roof top as quickly as possible to finally be reunited with his brother.

We ran up the stairs of the building, broke off the padlock T-Dog had used to make sure the walkers couldn't get inside and then ran up to the spot Merle had been cuffed to a pipe.

_Oh my god... that's fucking... disgusting.. gross...!_

A bunch of different ways to describe the severed hand surrounded by blood next to the bloody handcuff and saw flew into my mind.

You'd think that after seeing all those dead people walking around, rotting away and eating other alive people would make this to an easy thing to shrug off, but judging by T-Dogs and Glenns reactions aswell as mine that didn't seem to be the case.

Daryl started shouting "No!" over and over again, not failing to see what this meant.

The redneck raised his crossbow, aiming at T-Dog who stood next to me's face. I felt myself getting dragged to the side by Glenn as Rick held his own gun to Daryl's head.

By the knowledge of the fact that this could end in at least two people dead I, by reflex, grabbed Glenn's arm who had somehow ended up slightly in front of me.

"C-come on guys..." I half whispered, not sure if they even heard me.

"I won't hesitate. I don't care if every walker in the city hears it." Rick said without showing an inch of bluffing in his voice.

Daryl glared daggers at the ex-cop, then back to T-Dog who kept calm. He then lowered his weapon and I swear, the glare that I swore could kill only seconds earlier turned into simple and pure sadness and blame.

_And there comes my sympathy once again._

He asked for a handkerchief which T-Dog immediately pulled from his pocket.

I let go of Glenn's arm and walked over so that I stood between T-Dog and Rick. Glenn made a few steps closer as well, however without getting that close to clearly upset redneck.

Daryl picked up the pale and bloody hand by its finger, explaining that the chainsaw probably had a too dull blade to be able to cut through the cuffs itself.

Seeing him actually touching the severed body part actually made me want to just throw up, but that would just be weak. I base that on the fact that I'm pretty sure no one else in this company feels that fresh from watching it, but do their best to not show a too bad reaction.

Daryl put the hand down on the blue handkerchief, then gently wrapped it in.

As he stood up e looked at the rest of us for a bit, as if trying to figure something out. I guess he managed to get to a conclusion because in a matter of seconds he walked over to Glenn... shoving his brothers hand down his backpack.

I could feel how my face grew to one of those surprised smileys from MSN and my sympathy for a moment jumped to Glenn who actually had to carry that thing around, simply for being the only one with a backpack.

While Daryl started talking about what Merle must have done after... escaping the roof I walked over to Glenn who did not seem to feel very comfortable right at this moment.

Who could blame him though? I would probably be freaking out.

The Rick immediately started following Daryl who had spotted a blood trail that led into the other side of the building. T-Dog had decided to gather up the rest of Dales tools that had gotten left behind.

I stopped right next to Glenn who still seemed to comprehend what he had in his backpack. "Dude, that's gross." was the first thing I found myself saying.

"It is."

"You okay?"

"Never better." he answered not even bothering trying to sound sarcastic since it was already obvious enough.

We then jogged to catch up with the hunter who we could hear shouted after Merle.

As we had made our way down the stairs we entered some kind of 'used to be' waiting room or something, you never really know these days. Walker who was now officially 'dead' was laying on the floor.

"Had enough in 'im to take these son of bitches..." he looked up at the rest of us, "One handed."

A quiet "Damn..." escaped my lips.

The second I saw the Dixon brothers the first time I kind of knew that they were some hardcore people, but I did not foresee one of them being able to bring down a walker that easily.

Judging by around us it didn't really seem to have been that much of a struggle.

Daryl gave another praising about his brother which Rick decided to responding to, telling him anyone could die out of bloodloss, not matter how tough that someone is.

Now that was something I really hoped to avoid seeing, if Merle is gonna be dead he better be it somewhere I can't see him.

Sounds a bit harsh I know but I really don't like that guy.

Yes, I'd prefer to find him alive but you don't see me bawling if we find signs of him being... 'gone'. However if we actually see him dead... that might wake some emotions.

"Merle! You in here?" Daryl shouted as we turned another corner, still following the blood trail.

"There are walkers here!" I half shouted but soon quieted down since it wouldn't really be any better if we got attacked because of my voice.

"Screw that. Merle could be bleeding out, he said so himself." Daryl nodded towards Rick before continuing sneaking into the next room.

I let out an annoyed sigh.

I'll admit that the time we have been here in Atlanta so far had given me a small feeling of pride since, even though I have been near a heart attack one of two times, I never really panicked.

I guess the walked in the woods kind of prepared me or something.

But Daryl seeming like he's almost **trying **attract the freaks both pissed me off and scares me since I really don't feel like having to knock one on the head. If that happens that stupid hunter better be prepared to save my ass.

Once I collected my thoughts, which mind you didn't take more than a couple of seconds, I walked after Rick who had already join Daryl in the next room which appeared to be a kitchen. Maybe calling this floor a 'waiting room' was wrong after all.

It felt like all 5 of us focused on the same spots, following the same way with our eyes. From the blood drops on the floor, up to the kitchen oven which someone seemed to have forgotten to turn off after use since the gas was on full run.

By the sink next to the oven plate blowing out blue fire a bloody belt, probably used to stop the bleeding if it used to belong to Merle.

"What's that burnt stuff?" Glenn asked.

Rick, who had picked up something that looks like a flat-iron made of nothing but iron looked down at what looked a bit like black paper pieces.

"Skin. He stopped the bleeding."

Chills went through my spine the second the word 'skin' left his mouth.

Rotten walking corpses, a severed hand, skin from stopping the bleeding with hot iron...

_I think I'm seriously at my limit._

Trying my best to not show too much of nausea I just looked slightly down at the floor, making quick quiet breaths. Thank god Glenn, Rick and Daryl were all standing far away enough to not notice.

T-Dog, however, were standing right next to me.

Like when we jumped off the truck I'm sure he threw me another concerned look but since I focused at the floor, doing my best to keep everything... inside me, I can't really be sure.

The voices of both Daryl and Rick seemed like and echo in my ears and few word were understandable.

After what seemed like minutes, but couldn't have been more than at least one, I felt T-Dog give a slight pat on my back, making me look up straight ahead where Daryl and Rick already had started walking forward.

Glenn seemed to have been on his way but stopped as he saw me not looking too great.

The moment I saw that I just straightened myself walked with fast steps passed him and after two who almost had left us in the dust.

I have to admit, the fact that both T-Dog and Glenn felt the need to stay behind just to make sure I was okay or could keep up really hurt in a way.

It was nice but I didn't go with these guys to Atlanta to be a nuisance, I really wanted to be of some help or at least not in the way.

Seems like I have failed with that part so far.

_Well.. at least Rick and Daryl haven't noticed yet... I hope._

As I caught up with the rest of the gang they seemed to be looking out a broken window.

I said the first thing coming up in my head, "Did he.. jump out...?"

Hearing the skeptical tone in my voice Daryl answered, "Why wouldn't he? As far as he know he's out here alone. He's surviving."

"You call that surviving?" T-Dog cut in, " Just wandering around in the streets, maybe passing out? What are his odds out there?"

"No worse than being handcuffed by you sorry pricks." Glenn and T-Dog flinched at the younger brothers answer, probably feeling guilt once again.

He walked up to Rick, "You couldn't kill him. I ain't so worried 'bout some dead bastard."

"What about a thousand bastards? Different story?"

"You take a tally. Do what you want. I'm gonna go get 'im."

"Daryl, wait." Rick slightly pushed him back.

"Get your hands off me!" Daryl did not react well to that, "You can't stop me!"

And the shouting starts once again.

I spotted Glenn making a 'shh' noise but of course got ignored since Daryl didn't really care for keeping quiet before, why should he now when he's actually getting really pissed?

"I don't blame you, he's family, I get that. I went through hell to find mine. I know exactly how you feel." That seemed to calm him down, almost in the same way as at the roof when he planned to shoot T-Dog, but without a gun. "He can't get far with that injury. We could help you check a few blocks around but **only** if we keep a level head."

The two men took a few seconds, only glaring at each other until Daryl finally answered, "I could do that."

Rick glanced over to the rest of us, waiting for our answers to the so called 'request' of searching for Merle on the streets crawling of walkers.

Well most of them weren't crawling but you get what I'm saying.

"Only if we get those guns first." T-Dog answered, "I'm not roaming the streets unarmed. No matter how good intentions."

"I'm with T-Dog. Guns first in that case. I am not about to get eaten by a freak." I answered, completely agreeing with T-Dog. At least with a gun the risk is a bit smaller, even though I'm probably not too good with one.

Glenn kept quiet but nodded.

It was not hard to see that this answer was exactly what Rick had expected, Daryl didn't really have any noticeable reaction.

As we made our way into a bigger room to talk about our plan to get a hold of the bag containing all the weapons we needed, I couldn't help but think one thing as we'd soon walk out to face walkers on the streets.

_I can't believe how stupid I was to not bring my trusty old baseball bat..._


End file.
